Weekly Photo Challenge: Out of this World

Seeing a flare to its end (or what I hope is the end anyway) is a feeling truly out of this world!

After being stuck in the tunnel for so long, to finally see some light at the end, is a delightful feeling.

Featured image: Creation, oil on 18X24″ canvas (available)

And yet I struggle with the thought that this is as good as it’s ever going to get. For everyone else, life expands, they incorporate more and more experiences as they move forward. And I am happy if it simply doesn’t contract any more! I move forward too, but always against the wind, and always aware of the limitations.

And yet, as a human being, we register differences in condition more than so than the absolute value of it. This means that despite all the limits placed on me, my instant reaction is one of pure joy, an expansion of consciousness, to realize that I am improving from a worse-off state. That what I am improving to is what most people would consider “lazying” bothers me only when I think about it in more intellectual terms, ignoring my emotional reaction to it.

I realize that my initial happiness is only dampened because I still compare my state to that of other healthy people my age. I compare it to what I used to be at one time, what I remember feeling like but haven’t felt like in a long time. But with a chronic condition like fibromyalgia, my world now spins at a different speed than it does for others my age, than it would have for me if I hadn’t developed this condition. It is not fair to compare apples to oranges.

I have learned to see that slowed spin rate on neutral terms — it has some good and some bad, just like there would have been had my world kept revolving faster. But sometimes I can’t help but feel that the existence of the difference itself is somehow mocking.

At one time, I thought I was closer to accepting my situation. And I was, but only under the circumstances I had grown comfortable in. As my circumstances changed, I realized I am on this journey anew.

Ever reaching for the light . . . thinking I feel its warmth . . . but then my world takes another spin, and I am back in the dim, reaching for the light again.

The painting in the featured image explores many of these emotions that expand through time and space. I am sure everyone has something they are struggling with, where they feel they are locked in a tunnel, and are forever reaching for the light. I think of that when I feel I am fighting an unfair battle, and try to not feel so alone in it. I try to think of the progress I am making, and remind myself to simply breathe.

Perhaps the important thing is not to win the battle, but simply to keep fighting it, and fighting it well. And all the while allowing yourself to feel the joy of small victories, however small they may be, just to feel like it’s not all in vain.

Love,

Fibronacci

 

Each painting has a story, one that I strive to tell here. Since many of them have to do with my journey with fibromyalgia, a fraction of the sales from my paintings will go to the American Fibromyalgia Syndrome Association (AFSA), who fund research into this poorly understood condition. If the paintings and/or the cause touch your heart, as they do mine, please feel free to contact me here or through my Facebook page for more information. Thank you for accompanying me on this journey!

Overcoming Brain Fog

Going through life with a fuzzy brain can be challenging enough, even when one is not in graduate school! But being in a field where cognition is highly prized, I had to learn fairly quickly how to compensate for the brain-jelly effects of fibromyalgia and its medication.

Featured image: Reclamation (11X14, oil on canvas)

Below are the 5 most helpful brain fog coping skills I have learned.

1) Use your smartphone for lists and reminders : If you find you forget your memory aids (like leaving your grocery list at home), this one is for you! Most of us carry our smartphones with us everywhere, and it is easy enough to make lists, and add events to the calendar on those. They also have handy alarm and reminder features, which is a plus!

What if you have trouble remembering to add the commitment to the calendar on your phone? I find it best to add the event as soon as the appointment is made, before you have a chance to forget!

2) Jot down/verbally repeat key points in a conversation : Any discussion, specially scientific ones, require some level of on-your-feet processing of information for the exchange to be meaningful. When conversations start turning into word soup, I often find it helpful to repeat important points/questions, and/or write them down to help process it in a different way (auditory vs. verbal/written). Having quick notes also means you can think about it later and contribute your insight at a better time.

3) Avoid multi-tasking (if possible) : Multi-tasking requires being able to switch gears from one thing into another fairly seamlessly, which takes more mental capacity than just focusing on one thing at a time. More things happening at the same time means more chances for confusion and making mistakes. But if you must do it, below are two quick tips:

  • Multi-tasking tip #1: Take a short (mental) break between two tasks. This often keeps me from mixing up the details of one activity with those of the other.
  • Multi-tasking tip #2: Keep a plan of what needs to be done for each task. For example, if I am running 2-3 experiments that each take several days to complete, I will write down what needs to be done for each experiment on each day.

4) Use isochronic tones/binaural beats to help focus : I cannot say that I am 100% sure that brainwave entrainment actually works, but it is free and certainly something that is worth a shot! There have been times when beta tones have helped me not get distracted, and delta tones have helped me stay asleep . . . and there have been times when they have done nothing at all! They usually work when I use them for short periods of time, followed by periods of disuse. I suspect if I use it every day for too long, I start ignoring it, and that is why they stop working for me from time to time.

5) TEACHING TIP – Turn brainfarts into teachable moments : In my experience, students typically respond well to your mistakes if you can praise them for being able to spot it, with an appropriate apology, and turn it into a teachable moment. And if you are asked a question you do not know the answer to, it is OK to admit to not knowing it and offer to look it up for them. Alternatively, teach your students to be independent knowledge-builders by showing them how to research (aka, google) their question themselves and find reliable answers.

A lot of the tips above may seem really obvious. But I had to go through some trial and error to figure out what now seems most elementary. So if you are in a spot where you feel forgetful, unfocussed, frazzled or foggy, I hope these tips give you some ideas for how to successfully wade through the murky waters, and be able to achieve more from your day!

Love,

Fibronacci